I hope Shawn’s calmed down since last week, but chances are slim.
He’s very straight-out-the-gate when he confronts Kaitlyn in her hotel room: “Are you in love with me?”
Damn. I’d hate to be Kaitlyn.
A random courtyard video shoot of Nick and Tanner is happening and they’re discussing nothing important. Have you no loyalty Tanner? How could you be taking walks with Nick when you were the one interrogating him in the lion’s den a few episodes ago? Don’t trust anyone named Tanner, unless it’s D.J., Stephanie, Michelle, Danny, or Comet.
Easily the most boring and least controversial one in Bachelor/ette history, right?
It’s between Joe (Wreck-it) and JJ.
That toast JJ just gave was a first. “Cheers to me falling for you.”
*Clinks glass with said woman and other suitor* what
I’m a bit thrown off at Joe’s statements about how he’s falling in love with Kaitlyn considering we never see them together on-camera, but his sincerity gives me goosebumps.
It is also on the two-on-one date that JJ confesses he cheated on his wife three years ago. His daughter is three. Strictly stating facts here. It was with a blonde, slick-back haired buff named Clint, wasn’t it JJ? You’re not fooling us.
This two-on-one date is the shortest ever and bye JJ. You had a good, and somewhat douchey run. Kaitlyn also doesn’t give Joe the rose at that time even though that’s how it’s been done for 20 years, and decides she’s going to wait until they spend some alone time together later. SPOILER ALERT: JOE GETS THE ROSE.
Meanwhile, Shawn is planning on blowing up Ireland. With his mind. The whole country.
Someone should have advised Shawn on the concept of this show, because he’s exhausting me. Has this guy ever looked into a mirror? How could he be so self-conscious?
*Side Note* Shawn wears incredibly fitted jeans.
Leading up to the rose ceremony, Kaitlyn sits with Ben Z., who never wipes that teddy bear grin off his face, Ben H., remember “H” for “hawt,” and Nick, who cries uglier than Kim Kardashian West.
As the rose ceremony approaches, I’m wondering how Tanner managed to make it this far? I don’t even think they kissed once. Goodbye to him and Ben Z, who was just too damn nice. He won’t have any troubles moving forward. Heck, I wouldn’t even mind seeing him as the next Bachelor.
Win of the episode is that the bus in Ireland the guys minus Jared ride is called The Paddy Wagon. Jared gets to ride with Kaitlyn in style. Is anyone else terrified of driving on the complete other side of the road, opposite everything we’ve known our whole lives? I would be stressin.
Jared and his awful hairstyle are still super cute.
Cupcake time! Meaning, with Chris the dentist. He says something about his soul resembling old hotels and castles that are well-kempt. Noted, Chris. Noted.
Chris Harrison also throws a curveball rule change and I think Bachelorette life as I know it this season was all for ratings. My stance on never doing a two-bachelorette decision again is firm, but this new rule, I’m okay with. Kaitlyn will be doing overnights with the guys before hometowns. Fine, I get it. It’d be really awkward to bring someone home then find out they’re bad in bed. EXCEPT FOR NICK WHO ALREADY KNOWS.
Cupcake gets eliminated on his one-on-one, as I write a letter to ABC stating Bachelors and Bachelorettes alike should not be dumping contestants on the edge of high cliffs.
Cupcake gets real sad and cries in a weird, “i’m totally laughing at you, but sort of with you” kind of way. The real issue Chris, is that you’re a dentist in Nashville and not a musician. You picked the wrong city.
On to next week where Kaitlyn finally (I think) tells the guys she “got intimate” with Nick. Yee haw!