I really enjoy this teaser scene when Kaitlyn tells her family Nick and Shawn hate each other and they gasp as if she just told her family Nick and Shawn are gay together.
Ugh, I try and forget each finale that we do this “live” thing.
We leave Utah (which apparently was just neutral ground for everyone???) and head back to…Los Angeles? No tropical island in the budget this season, ABC? So many question marks.
Nick is the first victim of Kaitlyn’s family.
Before Nick finds out Kaitlyn told her family they had sex: “I’m not really nervous.”
After Nick finds out Kaitlyn told her family they had sex: “Now I’m worried.”
Maybe you would have thought twice before you offered up your penis Nicholas.
The family is sitting on the world’s closest-to-the-floor couches ever.
Nick, tell us about your last serious relationship. “My last serious relationship was with the last Bachelorette because my life is not real.”
NICK CRYING IS MAKING ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE THAT I’M CRYING.
He is being way more of a man than Nick. AND HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO CRY.
SISTER AIN’T AFRAID TO SAY SHE’S #TEAMSHAWN.
I AIN’T AFRAID TO SAY HER HAIR COLOR NEEDS TO GO.
Nick and Kaitlyn are so boring on this boat that the only thing I’m thinking of is a nautical themed pashmina afghan.
**I’m not sorry that the song is now stuck in your head**
So many stripes on this evening’s date.
Nick: “I have a gift. It’s in my bedroom.” FACE PALM
Okay, the gift was cute. But don’t tell anyone I said that.
Welp. This date with Shawn is going awkwardly.
The voice, Kaitlyn. Listen to Shawn’s velvety chocolatey voice and everything will be okay.
Shawn’s gift was cuter. The end. A MEMORY JAR?! Come on. So good. I’m sure Nick thought of something similar BUT WAIT YOU CAN’T PUT SEX IN A MEMORY JAR.
Nick’s first mistake of the proposal day was not waking up without a shirt and not going outside shirtless and not drinking out of a mug shirtless.
Neil Lane does not care about your life story, Nick. He is here because ABC paid him a fat wad.
I actually kind of like that the proposal is back at the Bachelor Mansion. Takes you back to your roots, you know? Like instead of riding off into the sunset on elephants. I’m looking at you, Sean and Catherine.
NICK’S FAMILY IN THE FRONT ROW OF THE LIVE SHOW. BELLA THIS SHOW IS NOT AGE APPROPRIATE FOR YOU AND I DON’T CARE HOW MANY TIMES YOUR BROTHER HAS BEEN ON IT.
Nick is first which always means elimination…
He just flipped the motha fuckin switch on a bitch. It’s like that scene in Wedding Crashers:
I knew it folks…
THE SNAPCHAT DON’T LIE!! Great work, Shawn.
Back to the awkward live show…
NICK’S FAMILY IN THE FRONT ROW NOT APPLAUDING.
Nick uses the word “right” as a filler and it’s infuriating, right? 😉
Nick, Shawn. Shawn, Nick.
What do ya say, Nick? Who’s up for the next season of The Bachelorette? I know who. NOT YOU.